Utilizing your waiting time

Waiting time can be frustrating and annoying, but it seems to be part of most people’s daily life. The waiting periods might include waiting to be served in a shop, waiting in waiting rooms, waiting for the other party to answer the phone, waiting for a friend at launch time, waiting in a traffic jam, to name but a few possible waiting situations. Try the following suggestions to make your waiting time more productive and beneficial.

• As a general rule, try to avoid waits by shopping and traveling outside of peak hours.
• If shopping during a busy period, be certain to position yourself strategically at shop counters so the shop assistant is in no doubt about whom to serve next.
• Be quite prepared to say to queue jumpers: Excuse me. I am next to be served!
• When shopping for specific items, do it by telephone and have the purchases delivered, if possible.
• Consider shopping from mail order catalogs. No traffic, no parking and no shop counter waiting.

• When placing calls to parties who have very busy periods, call at off peak times.
• Organize your telephone table or desk so that you can write or read while waiting on the telephone.
• If a switchboard operator puts you through to an extension but there is no answer, jiggle the hangup button in order to get back to the operator to leave a message.
• If calling long distance, be certain to say to the answering party: I am calling long distance for … so that waiting will be minimized.

• If you have a doctor’s appointment and from past experience have found the waiting room to be full on your arrival, telephone ahead and ask what delay is anticipated.
• Make appointments for the first time slot in the consultation period so that you are not faced with the all too common, ‘The doctor is running a bit behind schedule’.
• Always take your own reading material, as waiting room magazines can be dated or of no personal appeal.
• If you have generally been kept waiting for more than 30 minutes over several different appointments, tell the person with whom you have the appointment that you would appreciate every effort in keeping to the scheduled appointment time, as your time is important too.

• When in a traffic jam, relax your white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and practice relaxation exercises.
• If you are planning to venture into the depth of a traffic-congested city, consider parking at a suburban train station and taking a train to avoid the waiting.
• Brush up on your music appreciation via tape or radio while you are waiting in traffic.
• Consider the possibility of installing a mobile telephone so that you can catch up on your calls while waiting in traffic.
• Inquire about flextime working hours so that you are not traveling during the peak commuting times.
• If caught without a book or other resources, study the people around you, any observable wildlife or even the weather patterns. An absorbed mind will make the waiting time pass more quickly.
Managing time well is the hallmark of an efficient worker. Most people can name several busy people who always seem to be on top of their time. They are well-organized, prepared for the hassles of everyday life and they are self-disciplined. Here are some time management strategies which might help you to become more time effective:

• More efficient use of telephone talking time.
• Less interruptions by incoming telephone calls.
• Saving time in meetings.
• Preventing unwanted office visitors from distracting you.
• Using your commuting time more effectively.
• Organizing your house and your housemates to help save your time.
• Dealing with domestic driving tasks most efficiently.
• Using waiting time in shops, on the telephone, in waiting rooms and in traffic jams to best advantage.

By implementing the suggestions , you should find that you will not only get more work done, but you will also generate self respect. Being on top of your time generally means that you are in more effective control of your life-and that is a very pleasant and productive state of being.

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The Secret of Charm


A confirmed pessimist or a dull individual can never become charming to anyone. Charm and pessimism are mutually exclusive. Similarly, lack of enthusiasm, dull feeling, drab approach and defeatist attitude kill your charm. You must be alert, keen, interested and lively to become charming. People should not shun your company but look forward to it eagerly and enthusiastically. If you are not optimistic and bring hope to people no one will welcome you. If you are a messenger of gloomy forebodings, people will dread you and go out of the way to stay out of your path. Therefore, look at things and speak about things in a positive and optimistic manner.

Selfishness is a serious and mortal enemy of charm. If you wish to increase your charm, be helpful, considerate and thoughtful to the needs, feelings and requirements of others do not speak or act in haste. Never try to gain at the expense of others. Be mindful of the hopes, aspirations, pride, prestige and age of the other person. Take care of their comforts and anticipate their reactions. People generously respond to considerate thoughtfulness on their behalf. It melts the hardest heats and develops a personal bond. They become touched and genuinely affectionate. They will ignore your minor drawbacks and disadvantages willingly and smilingly. If you contradict people, humble them in public, criticize them even justifiably, they will not take to you kindly. Tact, sympathy, unselfishness, modesty, kindness, sincere appreciation and such finer qualities spring from thoughtfulness and constitute the ingredients of charm.

Appreciation is the lubricant that keeps the machine of human relations running smoothly. It makes people feel more important than anything else you can give them. Not only have human beings, even animals craved for it passionately and hungrily. Everybody without exception likes to be appreciated. Wife for the excellent dinner, husband for the good business deal, brother for his performance in games, sister for her mastery in music, clerk for his accurate work, boss for his efficient management, neighbor for the help he gives to others and the shopkeeper for his choice selections and attractive display. You and I are no exceptions and we like appreciation like anybody else. Both of us will go out of our way to do things for people who we know will genuinely appreciate them. We need not wait till some one does something big for us to show our appreciation. Instead, we must take the initiative and start looking for things we can appreciate in people. We can oil the gears of human relations in advance by adding to our requests to others, just a few more words like, ‘if you please’, ‘would you mind’, ‘may I have the pleasure of’, ‘can I ask for a small favor’, and so on.
You can multiply your charm million times if you can give sincere and generous appreciation to those with whom you come into contact. If you fail to give appreciation you will be termed as a critic, snob, bore or proud individual. You can spot the good points of others if only you take some trouble. Generally, people have both good and bad points, strong and weak personality traits. It is for you to observe and spot out the other person’s strong and good points. There is hardly any individual who is entirely bad and totally devoid of good or strong points. Some one may be good in sports and another in studies or debates. Some people may be good in music, painting and similar other fine arts. May be one has an interesting hobby. Perhaps he dresses impeccably and pleasingly. He may take regular exercise and have a body like Hercules. His knowledge on different fields like literature, science, engineering etc. may be extensive, up-to-date and authentic. Thus there is always some point, some field, and some quality in which every individual excels. You must quickly discover that point and give sincere and honest appreciation on the same.
Since every person feels superior to others in some way and craves for the recognition of this fact, the sure way to impress him is to let him know in a subtle and sincere manner that you do recognize and appreciate his importance in his chosen field. If you talk to a man about himself and his interests, he will go out of the way to accommodate you. He will be hungry for your company and his doors will always remain open to you.

You want to make a good impression the first time you meet someone. You want to tell about all the great things you have done. You want to talk about the clever things you have said. You try to impress the other guy by letting him know how important you are. It does not and never will. The real way to impress others is not to talk but to listen. If you want a person to like you instantly, listen to him enthusiastically and let him feel that you are very much impressed with him. Just for a moment analyze your own reaction and consider how you feel when you meet someone who straight-away starts buzzing into your ears, letting him go full blast about him. No, you begin to yawn. You curse your luck under your breath. You explore all the avenues to slip away, possibly without giving any offense. Then on the next occasion you make doubly sure that you avoid this person.
Conventional ability enhances your charm considerably. To be charming an individual should be neither dumb nor a bore. You can avoid these extremes by becoming an interesting and intelligent listener. In fact the secret of being a good conversationalist lies entirely in your ability to listen to others with keenness, interest and reasonable awareness. If you pay the compliment of being a good listener, it would encourage him to talk more and more about himself. In the end he will seek out your company on his own initiative. In fact all of us long for appreciative and sympathetic audiences. Being a good listener does not imply that you should be dumb throughout. On the contrary you should be an intelligent and appreciative listener. You should give the required encouragement. You should ask relevant questions, should indicate your basic or elementary knowledge of the subject. Besides this, you must maintain your interest on what is being narrated to you. You should not yawn or start looking at the watch or the clock on the wall. Do not interrupt or try to change the subject abruptly. You must try and draw others out on their pet or favorite topics. It will help you to know the area of their interests, their likes and dislikes, their habits and routine, their inclinations and idiosyncrasies, their hopes, wants, aspirations and objectives. The more you know about the individual the easier it will be for you to create the impact, to motivate, influence and lead or co-ordinate. In proportion to your ability to function as a good, sincere, patient, enthusiastic and interesting listener he will regard you to be charming and crave for your company. If you read widely and keep abreast with current events, if you keep your general knowledge up-to-date, you will be able to take part in the conversation with greater zeal and enthusiasm. Incidentally, the very act of listening attentively to others itself will enable you to increase your knowledge. Similarly, reading the lives and achievements of great people will enable you to make useful and penetrating contributions during conversations.

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The Extra Mile of Thoughtfulness

Every day thousands suffer and weep because people are thoughtless. If you would live truly successfully, you must often walk this extra mile. It will cost you time and trouble, even expense. But it will invest your personality with a golden aura and you ‘ll stand head and shoulders above the thoughtless ones.
This thoughtfulness will take myriad forms. It may mean dropping a word of appreciation to a shop assistant who has been helpful or sending a few flowers to a lonely spinster in hospital or dropping a Christmas card to a pensioner living in one room. It may lead you to give the window-cleaner a cup of tea or cheer the milkman with a word of sympathy as he plods through the slush with your milk.
Thoughtfulness will teach you how to reprimand or correct people without hurting them; for rest assured only if you have not hurt them will you have achieved anything.

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The Extra Mile of Service

All duty is transformed if you regard it as service to the community. But think now of voluntary work in your leisure time.
Millions have never entertained the idea. They are entirely enslaved by self. They think only of their own comfort and enjoyment. They have never heard that ‘It is a happier thing to serve than be served’.
You don’t have to engage in this kind of service. You could refuse and still be a respectable citizen; it is, indeed, the extra mile. Yet thousands testify that every pace of that mile brings rich dividends. Like the quality of mercy, it is twice blessed.
Besides the gratifying knowledge that you have helped others, service widens horizons. It frees from the domination of self. Petty aches, troubles and desires are forgotten when you grapple with another’s problems. Service makes you a bigger person-more understanding, more sympathetic and much happier. In other words it makes you more successful in the art of living.

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The Extra Mile of Gratitude

This old world is crying out for gratitude. Everyone likes to be thanked, to feel that what he has done is appreciated.
Are you grateful to friends for a pleasant evening or a delightful weekend? They don’t merely thank them when you leave. Go the extra mile and send them a note of thanks and perhaps a small gift.
Are you grateful to that surgeon whose skill saved you years of agony or embarrassment, your life even? Did you ever voice your thanks? Lots of people don’t trouble. They make a big mistake. They say either, ‘He was only doing his job; he doesn’t need my thanks,’ or ‘I suppose everyone is gushing with gratitude and he must get stacks of grateful letters. He ‘ll guess I ‘m grateful and won’t need me to say so!’
Remember that doctors are human and their hearts glow when they ‘re appreciated, as yours does. They ‘ll do their work all the better in the future if you walk the extra mile of gratitude.
Ask yourself whether you could gladden a few hearts around you by showing gratitude. Did you ever thank your old teacher, or the teachers of your children? Did you ever thank, really thank, people like the sweep, the dustmen or the paper-boy? Ever dropped a note of thanks to a pilot or a ship ‘s commander to whose skill you owe your life?
A good criterion for measuring your success in life is the number of people you have made happy. Here is a certain way of increasing that number.

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The Extra Mile of Generosity

Because of innate selfishness, most of us find it easier to be mean than generous. If we can get rather than give, we feel we have scored. We love to strike a hard bargain, to sell something for which we have no use. We are gratified if we can sell for more than we gave. In consequence, generous deeds are so rare they provide topics for conversation.
But meanness is, in fact, short-sighted. In reality, we rob ourselves of a light heart and the satisfaction of knowing we have helped another.
‘Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down and running over.’ The measure of our giving is the measure of our getting-in friendship, love, joy, even material blessings. The mean selfish life builds its own prison walls and passes sentence of solitary confinement.
Are you making a gift? Go the extra mile. Study the interests of the recipient, spend as much as you can afford and then add a little more!

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Taking Sincere and Genuine Interest in the other Person

One sure and definite way of creating a good initial impression on the other person is to take a real, keen, sincere interest in him. Without such sincere and human interest, the other attributes we considered may not be able to deliver the goods. In order to arouse others’ interest we must first get interested in him. We must direct our attention away from ourselves. We must be genuinely interested in his requirements, ideas, aspirations, views, conversation and environment and so on. Most human beings can not help but positively respond to people who show an interest in the things they are interested in. If we do a self analysis and ascertain why we like certain individuals, we will find that they have invariably shown a real interest in our matters. A genuine interest helps to create an immediate, sympathetic, mutual contact which is termed as rapport. It shows the common ground. Positively ugly, often unintelligent people are liked by others because they have this great quality in them. They are genuinely interested in the other person. They listen to him with interest and enthusiasm. They appreciate him warmly and generously. They show real concern, sympathy and feeling towards the other person. All of us, human beings, are hungry for recognition and appreciation. Recognition and appreciation are regarded by one and all as deserving praise. It is encouragement to strive for still greater accomplishment. To have a friend you must be a friend.

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Staying or Leaving Job

Deciding whether to stay on with your present firm or leave to work elsewhere can be a major decision. These considerations may be precipitated by unanticipated changes at work, such as a takeover of your firm. Or, you may have been experiencing a growing dissatisfaction with your work, your boss, or your colleagues. Perhaps you have been with the same organization for several years and have met the challenges and exhausted the opportunities which the job can offer. Your days at work may have become increasingly monotonous or perhaps even downright boring. You may have been thinking quietly to yourself that may be it’s time to look elsewhere for another job.

Making this decision can be difficult and it certainly is important. It is most important to ponder carefully the decision to leave, especially when good jobs are hard to find; when leaving means making new workplace friends; and, when you have to continue meeting your financial obligations. Under these circumstances, you just don’t jump up and leave impulsively. Why not sit down and put your thoughts on to paper?
Consider each job aspect and personal quality and record a number 1,2 or 3 on either the stay or the leave side. The number you record represents the strength of that item for either staying or leaving. The totals at the end are a quantitative estimate to assist you in your decision making.

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Specialize in Your Field Life

Besides being interested in other subjects and learning as much as possible about them, One must thoroughly master the subject of his special choice. It may be his profession, or hobby or interest. But it is necessary that one specializes at least in one subject. You must be a real authority in your favorite field. When you are presented with the opportunity, you should be able to speak with knowledge and confidence on that subject. Such specialization will help you to command the respect of others. It will make your interest in other areas all the more meaningful. For this purpose one should take to something which he likes intensely and go for it in a big way. He should read every possible look on the subject. He must join the appropriate societies or clubs. He must subscribe to the magazine devoted to it. He must attend meetings, see films and participate in debates concerning the subject. Specialization should not make one feel arrogant and superior. There will always be room for perfection. Even with specialization one should be able to listen to others, with patience, enthusiasm and eagerness. Specialized knowledge should be used judiciously at the right place and time in an effective manner.

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Speak and Succeed in Life

One of the sine-qua-nouns of success is the ability to communicate your thoughts effectively. If you can not talk well, speak freely and express yourself eloquently and adequately, you will be seriously handicapped in going up the ladder and reaching the top. Speech, the ability to communicate subtle and intricate thoughts and ideas, from one to another by making appropriate sounds, is something which the human beings alone among the animal species, have brought to high degree of perfection. Ability to talk and speak is one of the great gifts of God to man and we should make the maximum possible use of this rare talent.
We all know that knowledge is power and ideas rule the world. But no matter what is the extent of your knowledge or how much ideas are there in your mind, you will be absolutely powerless and ineffective if you can not communicate your knowledge and express your ideas to others and to the world in a forceful, convincing, clear and coherent manner. Among the means available to a man to express his thoughts, ideas, emotions, feeling, hopes and aspirations and among the vital tools made available to him to influence and lead people, the ability to talk and sway the minds of men is the most effective, most potent and most appealing. If we study and analyze the lives of great men, who have wielded power and influence over other men, we will find them to be great speakers and grand orators. If by chance or due to circumstances, some people who have not originally been speakers of distinction come to position of eminence, they will soon be compelled to acquire this great art and excel in it. Without this essential talent of effective public speaking or effective communication one will find it difficult to maintain the position of leadership.
In the present day, ability to talk is indispensable to everyone whether he is a teacher, politician, worker, engineer, industrialist, lawyer, doctor, actor, or even house wife. Today the size of the world has shrunk and more than ever before our dependency on others has become greater for living our very every-day life. You have to talk, mingle and motivate people. In a competitive world, the problem is more acute. The ability to talk and talk well has become so pronounced that we now dub an unsuccessful person as a ‘dumb’ one. Next to sleeping, eating and drinking we perhaps talk more than we do anything else. We can improve the quality of our living by improving the quality of our talk.
Talking is one of the most important and yet the easiest of means of expressing your admiration, regard and love for others. Appreciation and esteem, affection and goodwill, encouragement and support can all be expressed and efficiently conveyed by a few simple, selected, telling words. Words spring out of spontaneity, and blended with sincerity and warmth constitute the talk of quality. If you thus improve the quality of your talk you will automatically improve the quality of living.
Talk is not empty sound. You should not bore others and tire them with your unceasing prattle and meaningless waffle. Your talk should be purposive, pregnant with ideas, satisfying to the minds of the listeners and capable of creating favorable response. By our talk we should be able to discover people in all their variety and originality, each one responsive to moods and emotions, hopes and aspirations. If our talk is cold, distant, superficial, casual, affected or cloaked, we will never be able to break the barrier and get through to our audience and discover them. Our words should laugh, sing, ripple and flow. They must vibrate with piety, friendship, love, joy, color and power. They must explain, exalt, move and inspire the audience.
We have already noted that public speaking and the ability to talk effectively can be mastered by anybody. If you are keen, enthusiastic and industrious, you can definitely become a good speaker. With experience and greater efforts you can certainly become an outstanding speaker. Knowledge of the subject, real enthusiasm and interest for the subject, through preparation, effective delivery and adopting yourself to the mood of the audience are some of the important aspects which one should consider to master the art of public speaking. In the initial stages when you are a beginner, select a topic which interests you. It may be your hobby, favorite pastime, sports and your goal in life or the problem that is vitally affecting your profession or community. Your enthusiasm and interest for the subject will soon take over and you will forget your diffidence or hesitation if any. Next gather more facts than you could possibly use within the time ear-marked to you. This would develop extra confidence in you because of the reserve material you have built up. It is useful to discuss your topic with friends, read about it and think it as much as possible. Once your interest grows and knowledge increases, enthusiasm for the subject will grip you and your enthusiasm will automatically flow out to your audience. They will be influenced more by your urge, warmth and emotional identification than by cold arguments and subtle reasoning. Learn to like your audience. This will enable you to get rid of your fear of the audience. Love always begets love.
Complete mastery of the subject forms the major part of the preparatory work. Acquiring the full and thorough knowledge of the subject, in a narrow sense, is preparation itself. It refers to the time when the information is sorted out, the right parts chosen and the talk reduced to writing, at least in its broad outline. The written notes should be revised and rewritten again and again. Getting the right facts and ideas in the right order and place involve time and thought. The first attempt can always be improved upon, as also the subsequent attempts. In the initial stages, it is better for the beginner to write out the proposed speech in full form from the notes and subsequently learn it almost by heart. One should avoid reading out his talk to his audience. In any case an informal or ordinary talk should never be read out. Notes are used to jog one’s memory while delivering a speech. After gaining some experience one should dispense with the necessity of writing the speech fully. He should learn to speak solely from the brief notes.
The notes should be easily read. It is advisable to confine them to headings made up of two or three words. Special words may be underlined or printed in block-capitals.
Audiences are not all alike and it is essential to understand and appreciate the need and level of each one. On each occasion, the speaker should evaluate the interest of the audience and prepare the type of speech that would go well with the audience. He should not consider on what he thinks the audience ought to be told, but on what they are interested to learn.
One must be sure before hand what he is going to say and how he is going to say it to his audience. This equally applies to formal speeches as well as to informal, impromptu talks. It is not sufficient to have some vague and confused ideas in one’s mind and precede rumbling on as the talk progresses. One should thoroughly understand his subject and its scope. He must then study and gather complete data. Next he must determine his line of approach and treatment of the subject. This will be oriented to the nature and type of audience and the occasion as well as the time at one’s disposal for the talk. Next, one should plan the introduction. The treatment of the subject would then follow as the main feature. Lastly, the concluding or summing up remarks should be incorporated. Confidence to face an audience one should take for granted. Act confident and you will automatically become confident. The fear will disappear only with experience. The more the practice, the more the knowledge, the greater the interest, keenness and enthusiasm, the lesser will be the diffidence, fear and hesitation. One should not confuse the natural anxiety to do well with under-confidence. Upon a certain extent even great orators feel this slight nervousness born out of the anxiety to do well. In fact it is this natural apprehension which goads one to prepare thoroughly and well. This nervous feeling will melt and vanish as one starts the talk and warms up to his subject. It is only the feeling of inadequacy and lack of experience which frightens the beginner. This fear is common to all matters and not confined to public speaking alone.
Once you have mastered the art, once public speaking has become a natural quality and way of life with you, you will be able to enjoy the thrill and power of moving and motivating an audience. Only then will you appreciate the real truth that ideas rule the world and that knowledge and not brutal force is the real power.

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Some Important Factors related with children

Never decide your child, especially about birth and sexual matters. When he asks, let him be told without embarrassment that he grew snugly inside mummy until he was old enough to come out. Generally that will be sufficient and the matter will be shelved until puberty. On no account keep up the stork or gooseberry-bush yarns.
It is most important that a child should be aware of constant, harmonious relationships between his parents. If you must quarrel with your partner, don’t do it before your child; and make it up before he can sense the rift. When parents quarrel, a child feels insecure and his loyalties are divided. For the same reasons it is unwise to speak disparagingly of your partner before you child or be disloyal in any way. Failings should be glossed over, never enlarged.
You will doubtless be anxious that your child should develop a sound character. But never resort to nagging which can not build character. By a good character you surely mean the voluntary adoption of good habits. That adoption will take place only if the habits are associated with pleasant consequences. You can not therefore be too generous with rewards and praise.
Bringing up children to become happy, self-reliant, well-integrated personalities is undoubtedly an art, one which is mastered only by much thought, imagination and self-discipline.

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Situations to Avoid

Avoid making people look small – No one likes being humiliated-even the most humble person. The natural reaction is resentment, anger, dislike, perhaps hatred.

Avoid infringing the rights of others – People have rights which they guard jealously. If, tactlessly, you infringe those rights without consulting them, there is bound to be trouble.
Avoid boosting yourself – Blowing your own trumpet does not win you respect or popularity. If you must mention your own accomplishment, do so modestly and in lighter vein. Not to do so is tactless because it tends to make others small by implication.

Don’t teach other people their jobs – Even a road-sweeper is professionally proud. He is convinced he knows his job ‘inside out’, and that no one can teach him anything about it. He will resent anyone trying.

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Positive Emotions

Concerning feeling inferior, this is common. The others probably feel the same. This is because most people had experiences in infancy which made them feel weak, insignificant, foolish, ignorant, dirty, unloved. These memories and impressions, buried deep in the unconscious mind, go on exerting a baleful influence. At least, they will, unless you take steps to render them harmless.

• Try to recall any such humiliating childhood experiences. Get clues by recalling stories told in your family circle about your infancy.
• Keep telling yourself that you refuse to allow childhood experiences to mar your adult life.
• Always think and speak positively about yourself.
• Speak reassuring to yourself as you fall asleep, reminding yourself that you are, in fact, of worth, that you are accepted, respected and loved.

• Dwell upon your uniqueness - No other person on the globe has qualities identical. Therefore you can make a contribution to life no one else can make-hence it is of extreme value. Rare things are always precious.
Be sure to sponge away all feelings of guilt. Guilty people are never completely happy. Ask others to forgive you, do all you can to make amends, and then forgive yourself.
Most guilty feelings spring from the sex impulse. They will evaporate if you accept your sex instinct as a normal part of your human make-up. It should not be a cause for self-reproach and consequent conflict.
The human voice is capable of beautiful sound, even in daily speech. When so many sounds around you are raucous and ugly, why not begin taking a pride in the quality of your voice and speech?

The causes of Poor Speech – Poor speech has two basic causes-environment and laziness. Once you want improvement, an unhelpful environment need no longer affect you detrimentally. Rather let it act as a goad to you to improve your speech.
The tongue and lips, like water, take the path of least resistance. Unless you determine otherwise, they will betray you. Your speech will continue to be, or may become, slovenly. With continued disuse, the muscles controlling the lips are unable to obey the call for action. Good speech becomes impossible.

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Positive Attitude in Life

Your positive mental attitude, outlook, approach and words have a tremendous influence not only over your own self but also over others with whom you come into contact. Your positive conduct and confidence automatically infuse confidence in the other person. It compels him to take notice of you. Psychologically, all of us like things that are positive, favorable, promising and hopeful. You will never like to have dealings with a person who is gloomy, pessimistic and afraid. People react and respond positively to a positive approach and negatively to a negative one. Therefore, when we make human contacts we must do so with a positive emotional attitude, absolutely confident of the positive outcome of the contact or meeting. This is true whether we are trying to make a sale, or succeed at an interview, or to obtain business collaboration, or canvass a vote, or secure an industrial license, or enrolls a member or merely partake in worthwhile friendly conversation. To take success for granted, to think, speak and act success is to create the positive and favorable first impression. People instantly like a positive minded person.

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Positive Approaches of Life

Give honest compliments – People like to hear praise when they have done something praiseworthy. When you are tempted to boast, refer instead to some achievement of another.
Respect the rights of others – The rights which you enjoy are not your sole privilege.
Be prepared – Do not keep your friend waiting while you get things ready. If they are coming for a musical evening have the gramophone plugged in and the records all in order before they arrive.

Keep your words – Whatever you undertake to do, do it. You must not make promises lightly, but only when you can be sure of carrying them out.
Be a good sport – You can not have everything your own way. Accept cheerfully the wishes of others when they are different from your own. Smile at your setbacks.

Watch your borrowings – Make a rule to borrow only when there is no other possible solution, and return what you borrow promptly.

Be cheerful – A ready smile is the best friend-maker you can have. It helps others to see that life is not so gloomy as some of them think.

Be punctual – Get a reputation for always being in time, both in keeping appointment and in completing anything you undertake to do.

The following factors play a dominant part in the development of a powerful personality.
Knowledge is power and to know is to win. Knowledge gives you the necessary confidence. So one of the basic requirements is thorough knowledge in your special field as well as in general matters.
Knowledge by itself will not be enough unless you have the capacity to communicate your thoughts in a forceful and convincing manner. Your ability to talk in an impressive way is, therefore, extremely important.
Capacity to take a decision without hesitation is yet another important aspect of the personality structure.
Getting along with the people is also an equally important attribute. Fast and quick action and ability to take risks boldly are other important points.

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Planning Today for Your Career

Critically assess your present work skills – In order to progress in your career, it will be necessary to assess your skills to uncover any deficiencies or weaknesses. As an aid, it might be helpful to read your job specifications which should be available from your boss. Alternatively, the required skills should be noted on your job advertisement, if you have retained the ad in your files. By the way, keeping your employment documents in a convenient file is always a good idea.
Check the skills which you should have mattered. If you have been in your job for a substantial period, you will probably be proficient in the skills which are used daily. However, it is common for job ads to specify skills which are less frequently used and therefore you may need to do some further training.

Participate in training and updating Programs – Most firms and large organizations will either have in-service training programs or will sponsor employees to enroll in external courses. For those working in large firms, your personnel office will be able to give you details about in-house programs and relevant external courses available locally or by correspondence.

Talk with senior people in your field – Some very helpful advice can be obtained from people who have forged careers in your field. Take time to meet with these people and ask how they started and progressed.

• Get to know the people up the ladder in your organization – If you are interested in progressing in your organization, it will be helpful to know the people who will be assessing your performance. This is not polishing the apple. On the contrary, it is knowing the apples-the good, the bad, and the indifferent. You can get to know these strategic people by participating on relevant committees at higher levels, and by becoming involved in your organization social activities, to name but a few possibilities.

Schedule an appointment with your boss to discuss your career plans – The most critical person who can influence your career in your organization is your immediate boss. This person will be asked to write a report on your job strength and weaknesses when you apply for promotion. So, before you reach that stage, discuss your current position and how you can enhance your skills and abilities.
Getting more organized is a skill which will make you more effective and efficient at work and more satisfied at home.

• Use a daily plan to list the jobs to be done, indicating their priority and a time estimate for completing the job.
• Work to a daily plan each day.
• Get to your high priority jobs first.
• Reward yourself for completing each job.
• Take time periodically to do long-term planning.
• Use a yearly planner to schedule important projects and events.
• Allow for ample lead-up time to get large jobs done.
• Review your career plans regularly.
• Assess your job skills.
• Discuss your progress with friends, colleagues and your boss.

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Physical Appearance and Impression

A really beautiful woman or a handsome man starts with a distinct advantage. We are naturally attracted to have a second look at beautiful women and handsome men are the exceptions rather than the rule. What is more, one should also remember that external beauty is after all only skin deep. Ultimately, it is the personal magnetic charm that counts. We all have experienced that people who are not at all handsome or beautiful, for that matter, people who may be deemed as positively ugly, exercise tremendous influence because of their charm. In short, if we are gifted with a beautiful or handsome countenance, we should put it to good use. In any case, it is necessary that we improve upon what has been given to us.
Neatness of dress and grooming, cleanliness and good posture help you to create the correct first impression. One should select the dress to suit the occasion. When you pay attention to your dress, it will be invariably observed and taken note of by others. Your dress plays a vital part towards the projection of your personality. It does not imply that one should wear very costly or gaudy dress. In fact, they may produce the opposite effect. The dress should be well pressed, clean and not frayed or torn. Your collars cuffs, etc. should be clean. Next, pay attention to your foot-wear. Shoes must be well pulled up. It is also necessary that you pay attention to your hair-cut. Where applicable, it should be well combed. One should also pay attention to one’s finger nails. They should be clean and free from accumulation of dust. We must also see that no bad or repulsive odor emanates from us. In some cases bad odor may emanate from the mouth. In other instances there might be the smell of sweat. Some can not Scand very strong scents. Clean, sparkling, white teeth definitely create a good impression and it enables you to smile without inhibitions. In the case of certain individuals, dust accumulates in the corners of their eyes. They should be mindful of this and remove it. Lastly, your forehead and face should not be oily or dripping with sweat. With proper dress and grooming one should look smart and impressive. Attention to your physical appearance is thus very important to make the right first impression.

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Planning your Office Work

Organize your jobs around the types of tasks to be done: picking up items, telephoning, letter and report writing, seeing various people, and buying necessary items. Depending upon the type of work you do, you may wish to organize the plan chronologically (morning, afternoon and evening sections) or perhaps geographically by listing various jobs according to your movements through the day. Try various types of plans and see which suits you best. The one essential ingredient is to write the jobs down. Very few individuals are endowed with fail proof memories-and on very busy days, chances are that your notes will be more reliable than your brain.

Be precise in noting the tasks - For example, brief notes have been made after the names of the people to telephone. This might seem pedantic, but there is one very good reason for it. That is, most telephone calls take much longer than they need to. Ringing a colleague to confirm a meeting time or place might, under ordinary circumstances, take ten or fifteen minutes. However, if you have noted the specific reason for ringing someone, you may be more likely to keep to the contracted task-getting to the point quickly and then getting off the phone. Making these task notes is particularly important if you really enjoy talking with him and vice versa. Time flies when positive emotions become involved. Enjoy the positive feelings, but also keep an eye on the clock and the remaining jobs on your daily plan.

Give each job a priority rating: 1,2, or 3 - The success of plan depends upon you getting started on the high priority jobs. However, some people have difficulty deciding which jobs are the most important.
Tick the ‘Done’ column to reinforce the positive feeling of accomplishment when you have completed a job. You might think this is somewhat elementary, giving yourself a tick upon job completion, but most people respond very positively to a pat on the back, even if it is self-administered. You can probably recall numerous occasions when you went out of your way to communicate subtly to your boss the fact that you had completed a difficult task. No harm in this whatsoever. Get all of the encouragement and praise you can wrangle from your boss and significant others, including yourself!

• When writing out your daily plan, do not schedule ten hours of high priority jobs for an eight hour working day. In fact, be certain to leave sufficient time for the unexpected-those URGENT jobs which have to done yesterday. The secret is to be determined and disciplined, but also flexible and adaptable. Daily plans which are ramrod rigid can crumble when crisis occur. It’s far better to bend with the new demands and weather the storm than to be blown over or flattened.
• Remember to include on your plan several tasks which can be done on the run, such as revising your part-time lecture notes while commuting on the bus or train. Newspaper and leisure reading can also be done while waiting for a scheduled appointment.
• Work weeks can sometimes extend into weekends. Without placing your home and possibly family life in jeopardy, try to accommodate unusual work demands by planning ahead and anticipating peak periods. If you must work on a weekend, plan your work precisely and be extra efficient so that you can get in and get out, preserving as much of your leisure time as possible.
Planning your leisure might sound pedantic, but getting as much enjoyment as possible out of your recreational time is good commonsense. For example, planning the shopping trip to the gardening center or the hi-fi store will save a double trip or forgotten-item frustration. You might want to forgo the priority ratings and time limits on weekends, but list your leisure activities to get maximal value from your time.
• When planning your workdays, be certain to look ahead and give appropriate lead up time to planning and development activities for large projects looming in the distance. Read on for more about long-term planning.

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Office Visitors

Workplace Visitors
Just when you want to get some important job done and you’ve made a start, it’s uncanny how the office gossip or another equally garrulous person invades your workplace. It can seem that these people monitor your mind and gear their visits to guarantee minimal work output from you. How can you deal with these unwanted visitors without being rude? Try these suggestions for a start:

• If you have an office door, keep it closed when you do not want to be disturbed.
• If possible, try to arrange for someone to intercept visitors and take messages for you.
• Go to others before they come to you. It is far easier to terminate conversations when you are at the other person’s workplace. Saying, ‘I’ve got to go now.’ Will usually suffice.
• If you hear the office talker coming down the hall, jump up from your desk and place yourself diagonally across your office door jamb. Whatever you do, do not allow the person to enter your workspace.
• As noted above, standing discussions take far less time than sitting discussions. If the office talker does gain entry to your office and, Heaven forbid, gets seated, do not sit down yourself. Stay standing and make unwelcoming gestures like looking at your watch or pacing in ever decreasing circles around the intruder’s chair. The intruder will soon leave.
• Practice terminating phrases, such as: Well, then, it seems that…. Or, In essence, it can be concluded that….to give notice to the other party that you want to draw the conversation to a close.
• Observe the nonverbal signals of good time managers, such as closing desk top files or uncrossing legs and moving to the front of the chair. Body language alone can effectively communicate the end of a discussion.
• List matters which require only short discussions with others and discuss them during coffee breaks or over lunch.

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Miss Manners

Miss Manners Etiquette

Do not laugh at others – You can laugh with them when they do something foolish but it is unkind to laugh if they are unable to see the funny side themselves.

Avoid Sarcasm – It is a mark of low intelligence and a way of denying the essential human dignity of others.

Do not argue and contradict – If a person is wrong, try to make him see this for himself without telling him that he is wrong.

Do not bear grudges – If someone upsets you, go and tell him in a straightforward, friendly way-and then forget it.

Do not be jealous – Jealousy is a terrible emotion and very hard to overcome. But it is a certain way to become unpopular.

Avoid gossip – It is a wise rule to speak only well of people in their absence, for everyone has some good points. It is a better rule not to talk at all about people except in their presence. If others are gossiping, do not stay to hear it.

Do not boast – Few people have anything to boast about, for anything you can do someone else can do better. Your achievements should speak for themselves.

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Business and Social Etiquette

It is tactful to make people feel at ease. This is always appreciated. You will know what to do and say if you place yourself imaginatively in the others place.
It is tactful to show appreciation of services done on your behalf. Do this sincerely and not in a cursory way.
It is tactful to make others feel important. We are all born egotists. People thrive on praise and the assurance that they are needed and doing a worthwhile job.
Be liberal, then, with praise and appreciation. That does not mean flattery and the smooth tongue. Look for things to praise and you will find them. Everyone has good points.
It is tactful to be courteous at all times and to all people. Rudeness and brusqueness seldom pay. In other words, show deference to people, remembering that they are not inferiors or hands or public servants, but human beings.
Tact also show itself in respecting what others hold dear, particularly religion, politics, race and family. Anything which another feels deeply about must be treated with understanding and sympathy.
Life offers a thousand situations where a little tact will act as oil in machinery. For example, it is tactful to be punctual. If you feel you have made some mistake, it is tactful to acknowledge it immediately and apologize.
When you make a phone call, you are, quite uninvited, thrusting yourself into someone’s time and attention. It is tactful, therefore, to apologize for the intrusion; you do not know what activity you may have interrupted.
It is tactful not deliberately to defy convention. The man who attends a formal dinner casually dressed lets himself down badly, annoys his fellow-guests and embarrass his host.
Another sign of tact is to avoid monopolizing conversation. Other people like to talk as well as yourself, so give them a chance. Particularly if you are a newcomer to a group, beware of being too talkative.
It is obvious from the foregoing that to be more tactful is a certain way of living harmoniously with your fellows.

Being human, your employer wants value for his money. He also wants the best people in the key positions of his business. The best people, in his judgment, are those who give him most for his money. Impress your boss in the following ways.

Consistent lateness is daylight robbery. You are paid to be at your post for certain hours. See you are there.
Secondly, don’t waste his materials either by bad workmanship or using them for your own purposes.
Thirdly, don’t waste time. Avoid gossiping, making private phone-calls, doing personal jobs, extending lunch and tea breaks, and leaving before time.
Lastly, do your word to the best of your ability. Your employer expects that from you. He engaged you on that assumption. Shoddy, third-rate work is a form of pilfering.

Dress appropriately for the job. Look tidy and clean to start the day, even though your work entails getting dirty.
Improve your speech. No matter what your job, this will help you. People judge you by the way you speak. If your speech is clear and attractive, it will help to mark you out for promotion.
Extend your general education. In many situations, a good general education will place you head and shoulders above your fellows.

Find out why you do what you do. Know something of the history of your job, your trade or profession, your firm. Visualize its future development.
See your particular work in relation to the ultimate objective or finished product. Think how your work is contributing to the welfare of others.
Ask questions concerning your job. You may hit upon some idea for improvement and progress. Questions reveal not so much ignorance as an inquiring mind.
Most important, seriously consider studying for further qualifications. In this day of fierce competition, there is little chance of advancement without them.

Employers like folk who are willing to undertake new work, new responsibilities, or who are willing to do something extra to their duties. Willing people make the lot of the business executive so much easier. They ensure the success of any enterprise. They enhance their own value.

Cheerfulness is allied to willingness, and is equally valued by employers.
Promotion will go to the cheerful rather than to the moaning employee. Cheerfulness makes you likeable. It puts people on your side and paves the way for advancement.

Try to keep on good terms with everyone at your place of employment. You will then be doing your share to keep the organization running smoothly and happily.
This will work in your favor also. If you are known to get on well with people, it will be a point to your advantage when promotions are being considered. You are hardly likely to be put in charge of others if it is thought you would upset them and cause them to resign. The biggest factor in maintaining good relationships is tact.

Taut, strained employees are not the most efficient. They tend to make mistakes, ruin human relationships and go on the sick-list. Therefore, work hard on the job, but don’t take its problems home with you. You ‘ll do better work on duty if you have a complete change when you ‘re off. You will keep fitter, too. Every day you are away ill you are a complete loss to your employer.

You will never be good work in a job you hate. If you are in that unfortunate position, either change your job or your attitude to it.
Think of the advantages of your job-the security it gives you, the essentials of life it enables you to buy, the contribution it makes to human life and happiness. Dwell on these rather than on its disadvantages. Remember, too, that no job is ideal in every way.
It is well worth while cultivating a liking for your job. Day by day you will go to it eager, fresh and happy. To such people promotion comes inevitably.

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Meetings

Meetings at work
Meetings at work can occupy many frustrating hours. Even though they are very time-expensive, they are often considered to be organizational rituals held as a habit, often with nothing of consequence to discuss. In addition to being regular rituals, meetings can also be the posturing place for upwardly mobile office politicians. No matter what the motives might be for holding office meetings, be carefully critical about whether the meetings will be wasting your time.

• Suggest to the group which is holding a meeting that an agenda be circulated prior to the meeting and that it be followed during the meeting.
• If you are very busy, convey your apologies to the chair for not attending.
• Suggest that meetings be canceled if there is no important business to be discussed.
• Use memorandum instead of meetings to circulate information.
• Try holding your meetings in a room without any seats to save time. Standing meetings generally take less

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Time Saving Strategies at Work


Saving time at the office or workplace is important for at least two reasons. I, you can get more work done, thereby possibly earning you increased salary or promotion; and 2, getting more done makes you feel better about yourself-more competent, more confident. While some of your work duties will involve other people and thus may not be readily changeable, you can start with the aspects which are within your immediate domain, such as telephone calls and travel. Put the following pointers into practice to help you save time.

Calls to others:

• Use the time while waiting for the other party to answer to plan what you are going to say.
• For very complicated calls, write out some brief notes as a rehearsal for the call. What are the reasons for making the call? How long should the call take?
• Use the telephone instead of writing a letter or memo-you can get the response immediately.
• Plan for a telephone call period daily and make calls in bulk.

Calls from others

• Have all telephone calls screened, if possible. Be certain to thoroughly brief the person who will be taking your calls. Courtesy and thoughtfulness on their part can save you time and also goodwill.
• If you do not want to be disturbed, pull the plug on the phone.
• Do not hesitate to tell the other party that you are busy. Establish a mutually agreeable time to ring back.
• When all else fails and you are being bored by a garrulous caller, consider hanging up on the person when you are speaking. Then keep the receiver off the hook. If they ring back, they will think the telephone is out of order.

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Make Maturity Your Goal

Maturity is a coveted condition - It increases your prestige, your value as a citizen and your charm as a person. It does much to make life serene, constant and happy.
Maturity should come naturally with the years, but often it doesn’t except in the physical sense.
With a view to increasing your own maturity, give careful thought to the following.

Prejudice – It is easy to see that this word means judgment before all the facts are known. Many of us jump to hasty conclusions. It is a mark of maturity to withhold judgment until all the facts are known.
Prejudice is unfair to others and to yourself. It may mean others suffering an injustice; it may keep you from the truth.

Ignorance – The mature person is ignorant of many things, but knows it. The immature person is ignorant of many things, but does not know it! The former is always seeking to extend his knowledge. He detests the one-track mind and the parochial outlook. His bookshelves reveal his wide interests. He is informed about the past and hopeful of the future. He appreciates that although the progress of mankind is slow, the overall picture is one of steady advance.

Fear – The person acquiring maturity seeks to eradicate fear from his life. Rather than fear his fellows, he interests himself in them. He tries to understand why they behave as they do; the whole bent of his life is towards helping them. He has discovered that perfect love casts out fear.
The mature person has no fears for his health. His temperate life, his good relationships with others, plus his refusal to worry, have brought him to a state of good health in which he is confident he will remain.
He does not fear for his future; he has taken what steps he can to provide for it. For the rest, he has sufficient confidence in himself-and in life-to know there is no cause for anxiety. He faces even death unafraid. He has faced the fact that it is inevitable. Secondly, he is either convinced that death is the end, or it is the doorway to a new and exciting existence. In either event there is naught to fear.
More positively, the mature person is generally found to possess the following qualities.

Tolerance – He regards every man as his brother regardless of color, creed or status.
He accepts that there is more than one way of looking at every question; he lays no claim to a monopoly of the truth. His motto is ‘Live and let live!’ He knows there are few evils which do not contain some good and that man quickly contaminates truth with error. Maturity keeps him from being cocksure, dogmatic, conceited, proud.

Consideration – When a man has reached maturity of mind, he is not so preoccupied with himself as to be regardless of the comfort and feelings of others. He puts himself imaginatively in the place of others and reacts accordingly. He is big enough to do this.

Detachment – Maturity enables a person to view a situation impartially and unselfishly. His attitude to life is like that of an adult at a children’s party-happy in their happiness, and willing to lose, to be overlooked, if it furthers the interests and happiness of others.
Even his own abilities the mature person assesses impartially. He doesn’t allow prowess in any sphere to fly to his head; neither does he engage in mock modesty.

Constancy – The mature person is constant, reliable, and master of his moods. He possesses powers of stick ability and is not deterred by difficulties. He is prepared to work for distant objectives, things which may not materialize for years.

Cheerfulness – The mature person keeps cheerful because he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He can be reprimanded and not sulk, and he can lose with good grace. Above all, he shuns self-pity. He takes full responsibility for his actions and doesn’t look for scapegoats.
Absence of Negative Emotions – No one may call himself mature if he bears grudges or allows hatred to fester within. Neither is he mature if he indulges in jealousy, envy or meanness.

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Long-term planning

Planning your days is the first step to becoming more organized and productive at work and at home. However, longer-term planning is also necessary to accommodate large projects and important events which require lead-up or preparation time. Taking time to plan your career goals is another long-term planning item which all too frequently is neglected. It is only when thoughts of leaving your present work preoccupy your mind that these longer-term plans are likely to receive ample consideration. Rather than put off your planning until these often chaotic and perhaps emotional periods, it’s far better to give your career more frequent and rational consideration.
How can you make your planning for long-term projects and tasks at work more systematic and organized?
Firstly, inquire about yearly planners which are often available from stationery shops or from businesses using this medium to advertise their products or service. Your own employer might also have yearly planners available for employee use. These planners generally come as large printed sheets suitable for posting on a convenient wall near your desk or as desk top plastic mats. If you don’t have the space to accommodate a large planning sheet, make your own smaller version on an index card.
There are several features of the Yearly Planner Chart which are worthy of comment.

• The chart should be easily seen so that you can be reminded daily about major projects and work tasks coming up in the future. Large projects take considerable lead up time and you will probably be all too familiar with the discomfort of late night panic the evening before a major project is due.
• When plotting your commitments, use lead-up arrows to indicate preparation time.
• Place your holidays on the chart so that you can take account of time away from work.
• Make notes on your planner about important birthdays and anniversaries. You might also want to note your children’s school holidays, if relevant.
• Highlight various events using different colors of marking pens.
Thus, to make sure that you are working on schedule and remembering the important jobs and events looming in the future, use a visible and handy yearly planner. Take note of it daily to help you organize your tasks and your time.

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Life After work

• Occasionally, join your workmates after work for a drink or chat so as to keep in touch socially as well as vocationally.
• As a special treat, buy some flowers or another small gift on your way home. You, your spouse or housemate can enjoy the celebration of Wednesday or any other day, just because it is that particular day.
• Discuss the high points and the low points of your day with your spouse of housemates. Ask their opinion about any specific problems you might be having at work and be certain to reciprocate.
• During the after work hours, try to go out and get some vigorous exercise to blow off any accumulated tensions from the day. Just a briskly thirty minute walk will do wonders for you.
• Make ample provision for time with your family and close friends during evening and weekends. These important support people can play a most significant part in maintaining a positive and productive outlook in your work life.
• Get to bed in time to have a full night’s rest. Insufficient sleep can be a problem for very busy people and irritability and crankiness can result.

Thus, you can make your work life and your personal life much more positive by starting your days with a positive outlook and reinforcing this approach during and after work. Taking time to think positively about yourself and those close to you will help you overcome many obstacles. Some obstacles, however, may cause you to step back.

Harmonious and productive working relationships exist primarily because the needs of the individuals in the work team are being met. For some, there may be a need to remain quiet and removed so that they can get on with their work. For others, however, there may be a need to forge closer ties and warmer relationships with workmates. As long as the aims of the employing body are being met, then these varying needs of the work team members can be tolerated.
Problems occur, however, when this reciprocating system of need/satisfaction gets unbalanced. If one or more people want to satisfy needs which are outside the aims of the employing body or antagonistic to the other work team members, then problems occur. Let’s look at several ways relationships at work can be enhanced and made more harmonious and productive.

Be pleasant

At the start of the work day, take a few minutes to chat briefly with your workmates nearby. A warm smile and a few friendly words can get both you and your workmates off to a positive start in the day.

Show an active interest in your workmates. Asking about their plans for the forthcoming weekend or showing interest in an event they mentioned casually at lunch can bring you closer to others.

Remember birthdays and other special events important to your work team members. Bringing in a cake and taking time to celebrate the occasion during a coffee break can create a more friendly environment at work.

Giving some time to assist workmates who need help is a good investment. The dividends are generally warmer relationships.

Being able to talk appropriately about yourself and your life outside of work makes you a more approachable person. Of course, talking about yourself, if carries to excess, will create boredom and possibly even antagonism. Keep the conversations a two-way process.

Be willing to spend time outside of work with others

Your relationships with your workmates will deepen if you occasionally spend some time outside of work hours with them. A drink after work, a dinner out or a weekend activity will bring you closer to others.

When one of your workmates seems to be upset, offer to discuss the matter. The situation might be too personal for workplace discussion, but your offer will be appreciated. In your discussions with others in distress see the issues from their perspective and take note of their sensitivities.
Be willing to read books on interpersonal communication and friendship formation
If you feel estranged from others at work and would like to have closer relationships, browse through your local bookshop or library for relevant books on the topic.

As social relationships are very complex, book reading and self-practice might not be sufficient to bring you closer to your workmates. In that case, consider joining doctor or another helping professional for suggestions about courses and other resources.

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Learn to Relax in Life

Make relaxation a habit - At odd moments during the day when opportunity occurs, flop down in a chair or on a bed or settee. Relax every muscle. Close your eyes. Pass your fingertips lightly over your forehead several times and let your face melt into a smile. Do this also when you go to bed. You ‘ll enjoy better sleep.
While working, conserve your energies. By forethought reduce unnecessary jaunts upstairs. Avoid standing if you can work equally well sitting down. Place tools and materials handy so as to reduce movement as much as possible. Such practices reduce strain and fatigue.
Do get into the habit of smiling readily. You can not be tense when you are smiling, and you look so much more attractive! You ‘ll know more serenity of mind when you smile more.

It is worth stressing that worry is productive of nothing but furrowed brows, nervous breakdowns and gastric ulcers. It solves no problems. You ‘ll know little serenity if you allow yourself to become a worrier.

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Know Your Own Character

Many people do not understand their own natures and in consequence they suffer distress and conflict. They are puzzled by the seething desires and emotions they find bubbling up within themselves. But there is no cause for alarm. Here, as in every sphere, knowledge banishes fear and superstition.
The normal person has certain basic urges which may be listed as follows:

• To have food and bodily comfort-to feel secure.
• To wield power in some form-to control others-to feel significant or important.
• To create-to construct.
• To protect the weak and helpless.
• To find out-to understand-to be curious.
• To escape from danger-to preserve oneself.
• To gain, possess, acquire.
• To laugh.
• To fight-to repel the unpleasant.
• To submit to a stronger-to appeal for help.
• To mix with others-to be one of a group-to be like others of one’s own set.
• To mate with a member of the opposite sex-to reproduce.

It is useful to become acquainted with the above list as it will help you to understand not only your own behavior but that of others. With understanding comes tolerance and charity, and you take a big step towards the serene temperament.

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