If you are not already a parent you may well be one some day. If you are already a good parent then you will want to be a better one.
No parent wants to ruin the future of his child. Yet this happens all too often. It is done not by physical cruelty but by wounding a child’s mind, and this is done unwittingly.
Psychology has revealed that many of the emotional troubles which bedevil adult life have their origin in the earliest years of infancy and were initiated by well-meaning but blundering parents. The moral is that parents should acquaint themselves with some of the findings of psychology on this matter. Many useful and readable books are available. Until these are read, the following paragraphs may be helpful.
A young infant doesn’t think and it can barely see. It is conscious only of what it can feel. It therefore needs the utmost security and comfort, particularly those sensual comforts deriving from proximity to the mother ‘s breast. During the early months it can not have too much affection, too many assurances of love and acceptance.
Always bear in mind that a child is a person - The fact that he is small makes no difference. Soon he has a temperament, feelings, hopes, fears, loves, hatreds, just as adults. He is as sensitive as they are-probably more so. He likes to make things as they do. He likes to be praised and feel successful as they do. He values his possessions, likes his comforts as they do. Like them, too, he wants to feel secure, loved, wanted.
Adults hate to be frustrated; so does a child. Adults call his reactions a tantrum; there is no one to call their reactions anything! Because he is a person he hates to be whisked away from some interest. As a person and not a paragon he will sometimes be lazy, thoughtless, ungrateful, untidy.
Bearing these things in mind, always be considerate with a child. Never expect too much. Your child is an ordinary, erring human-small, weak and ignorant.
Because he has not yet learned to co-ordinate his movements, he will be slow and clumsy, and often make mistakes. But he has plenty of native confidence. Foster this; don’t squash it by discouragement and sarcasm. Co-ordination will come as you provide opportunities for practice and experiment, and as you are lavish with encouragement.
See that you are never an aggressive, unpredictable tyrant. Instead, aim at being a reliable friend. Suggest and advise rather than command and bully. If you must impose your will, give reasons rather than be arbitrary.
The Importance of Play
You must appreciate the importance of play in a child’s life. To him it is work. By it he widens his experience, creates things, develop his imagination and gains various compensations. Though play he prepares himself for the world of reality awaiting him.
Encourage your child to play by providing materials like sand, water, empty boxes, cartons, a few small planks, a hammer and nails, a dozen or so bricks. A good ruse is to dig a hole in the garden two or three feet deep, banking up the earth around the edges. A toddler will amuse himself for hours sliding in and climbing out. He ‘ll be learning to take risks and overcome difficulties. Remember, a busy child is a happy child and no trouble. Such a child is most likely to grow into a happy, well-balanced adult.
Encouragement and Example
When your child meets difficulties, don’t rush to his aid. He has pluck and will try to overcome them himself. This will develop, among other things, his self-reliance. When he is really beaten you can suggest solutions or give him a hand. You don’t want your child to grow up always looking to you for help.
When you have children, you can’t expect to have spotless, tidy home or an immaculate garden. You must take your choice-home and garden or a happy, self-confident child. No visitor will think worse of you because he finds evidence of a child about the place.
A good rule with children is ‘Don ‘t say Don ‘t if Do will do.’ In other words give positive guidance rather than negative commands.
Bear in mind that a child learn largely by imitation - He learns to speak that way, which really amounts to learning a language. If you do not wish your child to learn bad habits, bad manners or poor speech, you must never be guilty of them before him. If you want your child to be truthful, never lie to him-he may find out! Imitation is one of the greatest educative factors in childhood. Exploit it for good.
You are largely what your parents mad you. Your child will be largely what you make him. Here is the responsibility of parenthood.
Psychology has revealed that many of the emotional troubles which bedevil adult life have their origin in the earliest years of infancy and were initiated by well-meaning but blundering parents. The moral is that parents should acquaint themselves with some of the findings of psychology on this matter. Many useful and readable books are available. Until these are read, the following paragraphs may be helpful.
A young infant doesn’t think and it can barely see. It is conscious only of what it can feel. It therefore needs the utmost security and comfort, particularly those sensual comforts deriving from proximity to the mother ‘s breast. During the early months it can not have too much affection, too many assurances of love and acceptance.
Always bear in mind that a child is a person - The fact that he is small makes no difference. Soon he has a temperament, feelings, hopes, fears, loves, hatreds, just as adults. He is as sensitive as they are-probably more so. He likes to make things as they do. He likes to be praised and feel successful as they do. He values his possessions, likes his comforts as they do. Like them, too, he wants to feel secure, loved, wanted.
Adults hate to be frustrated; so does a child. Adults call his reactions a tantrum; there is no one to call their reactions anything! Because he is a person he hates to be whisked away from some interest. As a person and not a paragon he will sometimes be lazy, thoughtless, ungrateful, untidy.
Bearing these things in mind, always be considerate with a child. Never expect too much. Your child is an ordinary, erring human-small, weak and ignorant.
Because he has not yet learned to co-ordinate his movements, he will be slow and clumsy, and often make mistakes. But he has plenty of native confidence. Foster this; don’t squash it by discouragement and sarcasm. Co-ordination will come as you provide opportunities for practice and experiment, and as you are lavish with encouragement.
See that you are never an aggressive, unpredictable tyrant. Instead, aim at being a reliable friend. Suggest and advise rather than command and bully. If you must impose your will, give reasons rather than be arbitrary.
The Importance of Play
You must appreciate the importance of play in a child’s life. To him it is work. By it he widens his experience, creates things, develop his imagination and gains various compensations. Though play he prepares himself for the world of reality awaiting him.
Encourage your child to play by providing materials like sand, water, empty boxes, cartons, a few small planks, a hammer and nails, a dozen or so bricks. A good ruse is to dig a hole in the garden two or three feet deep, banking up the earth around the edges. A toddler will amuse himself for hours sliding in and climbing out. He ‘ll be learning to take risks and overcome difficulties. Remember, a busy child is a happy child and no trouble. Such a child is most likely to grow into a happy, well-balanced adult.
Encouragement and Example
When your child meets difficulties, don’t rush to his aid. He has pluck and will try to overcome them himself. This will develop, among other things, his self-reliance. When he is really beaten you can suggest solutions or give him a hand. You don’t want your child to grow up always looking to you for help.
When you have children, you can’t expect to have spotless, tidy home or an immaculate garden. You must take your choice-home and garden or a happy, self-confident child. No visitor will think worse of you because he finds evidence of a child about the place.
A good rule with children is ‘Don ‘t say Don ‘t if Do will do.’ In other words give positive guidance rather than negative commands.
Bear in mind that a child learn largely by imitation - He learns to speak that way, which really amounts to learning a language. If you do not wish your child to learn bad habits, bad manners or poor speech, you must never be guilty of them before him. If you want your child to be truthful, never lie to him-he may find out! Imitation is one of the greatest educative factors in childhood. Exploit it for good.
You are largely what your parents mad you. Your child will be largely what you make him. Here is the responsibility of parenthood.
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2 comments:
I like your approach on the topic. Your article is as interesting as your previous writings. Keep up the good work, thanks a lot.
When your child meets difficulties, don’t rush to his aid. He has pluck and will try to overcome them himself. This will develop, among other things, his self-reliance.
Cherry Fletcher @ Acne and Treatment
www.skinb5.com
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