You can not expect to go through life without meeting problems; difficulties, perplexities, frustrations are an inevitable part of human experience. Accept this idea of the inevitability of problems; it will help you approach them in a robust frame of mind rather than thinking you are a victim specially singled out by a malignant fate.
While accepting the inevitability of problems, avoid a spirit of defeatism or pessimistic fatalism. You may have to face problems, but that does not mean that you are to be helpless in their throes, tossed about like a cork on the ocean.
Courage, clear thinking and faith will enable you to negotiate the stormy seas of life, and the experience will make you wiser and maturer. You will not have succumbed to your problems; rather they will have made a contribution to your development.
When confronted with a problem, the first thing to do is to gather all relevant data. Get acquainted with all the facts of the case. Then write down exactly what the problem is, state it simply in black and white. This gives you something definite with which to come to terms. The enemy is assessed and you are no longer fighting a nebulous body whose very indefiniteness worries you.
Next, give serious thought to the problem. Make sure that such thought does not degenerate into worry. Worry accomplishes nothing. Aim at clear, dispassionate thought. View the problem as if it were a friend’s and not your own. Look at it from all angles and from the viewpoint of all concerned. Your court disaster if you are entirely selfish in your outlook.
The problem examined broadly and impartially, write down all the possible solutions or courses of action. The knowledge that you have done this will keep you from useless regrets later, when you can remind yourself that all possible courses were examined and you took what appeared to be the best.
Having drawn up your list of possible solutions, weigh them impartially. Again bear in mind the claims and reactions of all concerned. Ruthlessly delete courses which would harm other people or cause you twinges of conscience. Act in accordance with the highest ideals. No step is a solution if later it is going to burden you with feelings of guilt or self-reproach.
Next, eliminate all proposed solutions which are seen on further thought to be impracticable.
You will now find that your list has been whittled down to two or three possibilities. At this stage it is often a good plan to get out into the open air. Go for a walk or ride, preferably somewhere with wide horizons. There, out in the open, review the problem afresh. You will find it appears much less formidable. And ask yourself how the difficulty will appear in ten years time, or even one! Now turn to the remaining solutions and, before you return home, decide which you are going to adopt.
As you go to sleep that night, let your last thoughts be upon your decision. If, in the morning, you still feel it is the best one to take, go ahead.
If you have a friend you think is capable of giving sound advice, consult him. Do this before you go out, so you have the benefit of his views before you decide. Talking things over with another is always a great help. It enables you to isolate the problem and to decide which are the important factors. Even though the friend offers no advice, a sympathetic ear will help you. Further, as you describe to your friend the courses open to you, you will see them in a clearer light. Some will appear impossible even while you speak. Alternatively, one will appear most attractive.
Having decided on a course of action and carried it out, avoid useless regrets. Hold on to the thought that you looked into the matter thoroughly and carried out what seemed at the time the best solution.
Your problem may be of a kind where you need professional guidance from a solicitor, doctor, marriage-guidance counselor or minister of religion. Any of these will be willing to help you. Some will require a fee, but the saving in anxiety and nervous energy will make it will worthwhile.
Another possible source of help may be one of the magazines or papers which conduct advice bureaus. Such services are reliable and generally free or at a nominal cost only.
In dealing with problems, remember the time factor. Some get more complicated the longer they are left. Get to grips with these immediately. Other problems solve themselves in time, and delaying tactics are the best form of action.
Reasonable foresight and imagination can prevent many problems ever arising. Tact, thoughtfulness and responsible conduct can also keep life largely problem-free.
While accepting the inevitability of problems, avoid a spirit of defeatism or pessimistic fatalism. You may have to face problems, but that does not mean that you are to be helpless in their throes, tossed about like a cork on the ocean.
Courage, clear thinking and faith will enable you to negotiate the stormy seas of life, and the experience will make you wiser and maturer. You will not have succumbed to your problems; rather they will have made a contribution to your development.
When confronted with a problem, the first thing to do is to gather all relevant data. Get acquainted with all the facts of the case. Then write down exactly what the problem is, state it simply in black and white. This gives you something definite with which to come to terms. The enemy is assessed and you are no longer fighting a nebulous body whose very indefiniteness worries you.
Next, give serious thought to the problem. Make sure that such thought does not degenerate into worry. Worry accomplishes nothing. Aim at clear, dispassionate thought. View the problem as if it were a friend’s and not your own. Look at it from all angles and from the viewpoint of all concerned. Your court disaster if you are entirely selfish in your outlook.
The problem examined broadly and impartially, write down all the possible solutions or courses of action. The knowledge that you have done this will keep you from useless regrets later, when you can remind yourself that all possible courses were examined and you took what appeared to be the best.
Having drawn up your list of possible solutions, weigh them impartially. Again bear in mind the claims and reactions of all concerned. Ruthlessly delete courses which would harm other people or cause you twinges of conscience. Act in accordance with the highest ideals. No step is a solution if later it is going to burden you with feelings of guilt or self-reproach.
Next, eliminate all proposed solutions which are seen on further thought to be impracticable.
You will now find that your list has been whittled down to two or three possibilities. At this stage it is often a good plan to get out into the open air. Go for a walk or ride, preferably somewhere with wide horizons. There, out in the open, review the problem afresh. You will find it appears much less formidable. And ask yourself how the difficulty will appear in ten years time, or even one! Now turn to the remaining solutions and, before you return home, decide which you are going to adopt.
As you go to sleep that night, let your last thoughts be upon your decision. If, in the morning, you still feel it is the best one to take, go ahead.
If you have a friend you think is capable of giving sound advice, consult him. Do this before you go out, so you have the benefit of his views before you decide. Talking things over with another is always a great help. It enables you to isolate the problem and to decide which are the important factors. Even though the friend offers no advice, a sympathetic ear will help you. Further, as you describe to your friend the courses open to you, you will see them in a clearer light. Some will appear impossible even while you speak. Alternatively, one will appear most attractive.
Having decided on a course of action and carried it out, avoid useless regrets. Hold on to the thought that you looked into the matter thoroughly and carried out what seemed at the time the best solution.
Your problem may be of a kind where you need professional guidance from a solicitor, doctor, marriage-guidance counselor or minister of religion. Any of these will be willing to help you. Some will require a fee, but the saving in anxiety and nervous energy will make it will worthwhile.
Another possible source of help may be one of the magazines or papers which conduct advice bureaus. Such services are reliable and generally free or at a nominal cost only.
In dealing with problems, remember the time factor. Some get more complicated the longer they are left. Get to grips with these immediately. Other problems solve themselves in time, and delaying tactics are the best form of action.
Reasonable foresight and imagination can prevent many problems ever arising. Tact, thoughtfulness and responsible conduct can also keep life largely problem-free.
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